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18 June 2008 @ 09:32 am
hey all, i'm new here - not pregnant (yet), but... ok, so while we aren't actively trying to have a baby, aren't really not trying either... anyways i've been thinking lately about what kind of birth i want when i do get pregnant... and i want natural... ideally i want a midwife or doula (or both, not sure how that works)... but my insurance only covers 1 and she's in jackson, tn - so i gotta find our how much that's gonna cost... but why does it seem like there's some stigma attached to wanting/having a natural birth? everyone says, oh the pain will make it too much to bear, you'll have to have something. no i won't, at least that's my plan. i am a woman, women were made to give birth, our bodies can handle it - you don't give any other animal an epidural or the option to have a c-section... the idea of knowing that i gave birth without some doctor forcing it before its time is an amazing idea... and one that i would love to make a reality... when the time comes :)
did anyone else that's had natural childbirth run into this problem with their friends and/or family that they weren't very supportive of your decision to have natural birth? it's like the people i thought would be most supportive (my friends i mean. i haven't even brought this up to the husband yet since i'm not pregnant) just seem to think i'm stupid or that there's no way i could handle the pain. i don't know anyone that's had natural birth, so everyone i know thinks it's just this stupid passing idea from a woman that's never had a kid so "she doesn't know what's it's like". it's actually really disappointing to know that i have no support here (IRL i mean). a real let down.
Tricksy Pixietheprimrosepath on June 18th, 2008 05:31 pm (UTC)
Hi! I'm in pretty much the same situation as your right now (and the same state too, woohoo), in that I'm not pregnant yet, but we're talking about it and the possibility looms ever closer. :)

Is it the midwife or the doula that's in Jackson? I don't know how your insurance works, but I've been going to my local midwife clinic just for my yearly ob-gyn appt for the last two years - I figured that way, when baby-time finally came, I'd already have someone around that I felt comfortable with. (I'm contemplating home birth, too.) Don't know how that would work with the insurance and distance and all, but it might be something to think about.

I haven't told a lot of people either - I figure right now it's no one's business - but my mom has been pretty supportive. And I definitely don't want to sound like I'm telling you what to do, but...you might consider letting your husband know your plans and ideas. You never know, he could be a really strong ally in keeping those nay-sayers off your back. :) Just a suggestion.

I'm sorry everyone's been so negative so far. :(
Madienine on June 18th, 2008 08:31 pm (UTC)
thank you :) - yes, the only midwife on my insurance is in jackson, TN - but i think i might be able to go out of network with my insurance and use one of the midwives here in memphis, i'd just pay out of pocket and then get reimbursed for some of the costs after the birth, maybe (it's something i still have to look into). i've realized that out of all my friends, i have 2 that support me - 1 b/c her mom had natural birth and another b/c she has friends who've done home/natural birth in her peer group and family - looks like i need to start hanging out with them more (which is actually true, i haven't seen either of them in forever) - and yea, i know i need to talk to my husband about it, and i will... just kinda scary considering how off-putting it's been telling my few close friends (and i just told my mom... and she doesn't sound very supportive either). i don't want to scare him - but then again i'm the one that has to push it out, lol, so he can deal with it :)